Playing Russian Roulette

Like so many UWS women and a smattering of adventurous UWS men, I am a slave to my nails. Luckily, that poses no problem in my ZIP code: There are a gazillion nail salons on my block alone. So, my ears perked up at the recent mention by a friend of a type of manicure she said was sweeping the neighborhood. I must confess that I had never heard of a Russian manicure.

Clearly, I hadn’t been spending enough time on Instagram and TikTok, where I soon discovered that Russian manicures were all the rage. So much for the idea that I am a manicure maven. I decided to dig deeper. What would Mr. Google reveal?

Plenty, and not all of it sounded appealing. While Russian manicures are vaunted as providing a glamorous, “ultra-clean look,” they require a complete removal of the cuticles. As one “celebrity manicurist and educator” (really?) told Harper’s Bazaar a few months ago, a Russian manicure is a “high-end, specialized type of manicure that utilizes detailed cuticle exfoliation, using an electric nail file with diamond bits and occasionally special, extremely sharp cuticle scissors.” If done improperly, the procedure can cause lasting damage to the nails. Yikes!

The New York State Board of Cosmetology has a blunter way of describing the technique: “cutting living skin.” That’s a no-no for nail professionals in this state. But New York law does not expressly ban Russian manicures, as Texas and California do. In those states, it is illegal to remove the cuticles without a medical license.

Wow! This wasn’t Watergate, but it seemed like the occasion for some serious shoe-leather reporting. So, I fearlessly strode into a busy nearby nail salon that boasted rows and rows of colorful bottles of nail polish. I was greeted warmly, until I took my reporter’s notepad out of my purse and asked whether they gave Russian manicures. At that exact moment, everyone forgot how to speak English. After visiting several other glossy UWS nail emporia and getting the same results (nil), I wised up and started reporting by phone.

That yielded more information. It turns out that a basic Russian manicure in this nabe that takes about an hour will set you back about $100. A few salons said adamantly that they didn’t do them. I was getting a little warmer.

Then, suddenly, I nailed it. The person on the other end of the phone spoke perfect English in a deep male voice. A rarity in the Cuticle Kingdom, I assure you! My Deep Throat has worked on the UWS in nail salons for seven years. He said he would be happy to give me the scoop on Russian manicures on the UWS.

My not-for-attribution source then dished on his own industry. “If the technician is unskilled, I would be worried, but generally you would have to be skilled to process a Russian manicure, just like a doctor. It’s not really as controversial as other things I’ve seen in nail salons that are far more dangerous, like not cleaning tools and stuff like that. But if you have a trained technician, there’s nothing to worry about.”

Well, I must admit that I am more than a little wary about this fad, so personally, I think I’ll pass. Sure, you have to suffer for beauty, but that’s what they probably told themselves back in the days of Chinese foot-binding.

Puzzled by something happening on the UWS? Have an intriguing story tip to pass along? Just send a message to Andrea Sachs at nelliebly52@icloud.com.